This unexpected move to Kolkata, has brought many good tidings my way. So, while yes I had to quit my job after 10 years of working, I am thankful for this break. Since I am at home, I am able to spend a lot of my time with my son and June. The best is this time is absolutely free of any work interference. I feel it’s a luxury. After my maternity break, this is the only time where I have nothing else occupying my mind .No running check-list of to-do things. And it’s so liberating!! I had accepted it as a part of my life and had funnily had no idea of how suffocating it had become.With so much device intrusion in our lives , the boundaries between personal and professional life had become blurred .I can recall maybe 3 vacations in 10 years that were absolutely free of work-responsibilities . Without someone calling me or mailing me . And of course , everything in life is on fire and urgent and required as of yesterday!!
I now feel that I am slowly getting back to being the person I was. The carefree, happy girl that I was. Not the forever-cranky, surly, always-on-the-edge person I was turning into. Of course there is the slight inconvenience of the pay-check not coming in on the 25th of every month, but for the moment I can live with it. As I savor the last dregs of my Filter Coffee and gaze out at the awesome rain-drenched vista afforded by my 15th floor balcony, I want to pause this moment. Where I am at complete peace with my present and my past. This moment is an explosion of a hundred thousand possibilities .
I can let go of the negativity that was consuming me to focus on the gifts of the present. Destiny’s interventions work in unfathomable ways. This being clearly one of them.
I can now focus on my emotional and physical well-being. Today I went back to my Bharatnatyam dance-practice after a break of 12 years. And I love it as much as I did then! Of course it was hard, and my lumpen body screamed pain after so many years of remaining idle. I know when I wake up tomorrow morning, every muscle in my body is going to hurt, but it’s a good hurt. The kind that builds you up and leaves you wanting for more. Not the corrosive, toxic hurt that erodes you from the inside.
So here’s to the start of a new innings in my life !!
Hopefully at some point, along with the peace of mind and dance and music, the paycheck will also make its way back!!!
“It was June,and the world smelled of roses.The sunshine was like powdered gold over the grassy hillside.”-Maud hart Lovelace